Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Rules...

In a move of sheer curiosity and bald faced boredom during one of my "I can't sleep" moments I ventured into the on line dating world. (Did anyone else just hear the theme song from Jaws????)

And… well… oy. It’s a sad state of affairs. Or maybe I refuse to see the writing on the wall. Maybe I need to lower my standards because, well... I’m not exactly a spring chicken anymore. But… some of these guys? Wow… really?

If their resemblance to your father ,or grandfather, doesn’t have you running away or their picture doesn’t leave you shuddering, their spelling is enough to make you want to scream and hurl heavy objects out windows. And I’m not talking typos they overlooked. I’m talking bold, in your face BUTCHERING of THE most basic words… Chocklet (SWEAR to God) instead of chocolate. Beyautaful instead of beautiful. And then there are the misspellings that you have no idea WHAT it is they were trying to say. Color me picky, or hell even a little uppity, but if you reach thirty-five plus years of age and can’t spell better than that you’re not getting a second glance from me.

This is what I have to choose from? This pool of moderately (at best) intelligent, graying, balding men?? Now before any balding and graying men get their boxer briefs in a bunch! I am NOT saying these are necessarily BAD things. Some men wear both well. Though again… if they don’t know how to spell it doesn’t matter if they look like Matthew McConaughey I‘m not….. well… maybe if they look like him I’ll use them for a little sexual satisfaction. Spelling and grammar mean little while doing the horizontal polka. I can make my needs and wants known just fine without the aid of actual words. But as a potential life partner? Yeah… wow. I may be single for a really, really long time.

Single men.. heed my advice... please. Particularly if you've well surpassed the thirty year old mark..

Please do not use what I call the pouty mouth face EVER in a profile pic. I mean really? What are you? Twelve?

Please make sure your picture isn’t so blurry that the fact that you are male is only discernable by the fuzzy outline clearly showing broad shoulders and a bald head. (At least I hope that was a man!!)

Please don’t have, as your main picture, one in which I have to figure out which man out of five is you.

Take off the sunglasses in at least a FEW of your pictures. Please!

Please, please, PLEASE utilize spell check!!!

While emoticons and acronyms are handy and often cute please don’t over use them within your profile. Just sayin’..

You’re “opening line”, if you will, IS important. Asking me if I want something vulgar followed by “and to be treated like a queen” will not endear you to me.

In another plea about pictures.. WHAT is with the pics taken in what is SO obviously a bathroom?? Or worse a PUBLIC bathroom?? Please. Find a bare wall in your home somewhere or SOMETHING.

Smile. Please. What’s with the scary face? Or is this an attempt to look dark and mysterious? Knock it off. Really. I repeat, unless you look like Matthew McConaughey, you are NOT pulling it off.

A picture of yourself on a hog with three bikini clad women hanging off of you is NOT appealing.

Must you do mirror pictures??? My eleven year old daughter does that. Ask a friend or a co-worker to take a few candid shots of you.

Using what is OBVIOUSLY a high school senior picture taken in the late 80’s or early 90’s as your one and only profile pic won’t get you any attention from intelligent women.

“Do-rags”. Umm.. Yeah.. May I refer you to rule #10. Unless you are or look like Matthew Mac please avoid this little accessory until at least the 5th date and only IF said date is an afternoon hanging out by the pool or washing cars. I will give ya’ that it can be sexy if used at the appropriate time and on the right guy. (And maybe I'm being just a wee bit picky with this one.

Thursday, March 17, 2011


..will my emotions stop being all over the place??? I go days, whole weeks, feeling like I'm going to be OK. No tears, no feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. And then BAM!! I start to feel lost and confused. I am so afraid of what the future holds. I am so afraid I'll fail at all of the things I now have to and want to do. School, being a single parent, finding a job, supporting my kids on my own.

I feel so lost sometimes. And so very much alone. And then I get angry at myself. I'm not an idiot. I'm not weak. I CAN do all of this. Except... I don't want to do it all alone. I want someone to share it all with. The fears, the accomplishments, my dreams.

My kids are awesome and I love them more than life itself. My friends are incredible and you all have been an amazing support system for me. And I appreciate all of you more than I can possibly express. But something's missing.

Then I think about letting someone in again and I'm terrified. My ability to trust anyone has been damaged. And I'm not sure I will ever be able to fix that.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Today is the first day...

...of the rest of your life.

When I was a child there was a poster hanging on the wall in my room. It was a picture of a little girl, standing in a field of tall grass, her head tilted down, with one hand reaching towards a flower or pussy willow or some such whimsical thing like that. If my memory serves me correctly she was wearing a red dress with tiny white dots all over it. She had soft brown hair and my parents swore they bought it for my room because she looked "just like me". Which I suppose she did. She also looked like a thousand other brown haired little girls looking down. But I digress.

Underneath of the little girl were the words "This is the first day of the rest of your life." That poster remained on my wall well into my teens. It moved from 619 Natalie Lane to 129 Burnside Avenue with me. I'd always meant to save it and take it with me someday when I left the nest. I didn't of course, like many good intentions this one didn't rank high enough to be thought of when the time came.

I've searched the internet and eBay in the hopes that I'll stumble across one just like it. No success yet. But I'll keep looking.

I've created this new blog with a different set of intentions than I have had before. This will not be the blog where I bitch and moan. Nor where I spend all of my time complaining about the pathetic existence I call a life. Instead this will be a combination regular ol' blog and a picture blog.

Each day, as I begin my "new life" I will take a picture of something that holds some significance for me. It may be an object. It may be a person. It may be a random natural occurrence. Whatever it is it will mean something to me.

Yes, I am taking my cue from the plethora of "Thirty Days" of pictures that have become the new FB trend among the tween and teen sets. I'm just putting a different spin on it. First of all, there is no time frame here. I have WAY too much going on in my life to attempt to do this on a daily basis. I will, however, commit to posting something at least four times a month.

I'm tired of focusing on the negatives in my life. I need to start thinking about all of the things that are positive in my life. Everything will work itself out. It always does. With God, fate and some good old fashioned hard work from me I will come out on the other side of this a better person.

I know.. (looking sheepish here) I have said this dozens of times before. Ad nauseam. And I've probably proclaimed "I mean it." dozens of times as well. Hey.. I'm human. I'm occasionally going to falter...

But I'll keep getting back up..

Today's picture...

When I was a little girl this Mattel's Drowsy Baby Doll was one of my very favorites. This isn't the original. The original met a horrible death at the hands if some very cruel neighborhood boys. My Daddy was MAD! :) He had words with the perpetrators and then replaced Drowsy Baby. I was five years old. This is THAT doll. She's thirty-seven years old.